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avatar Heck_Spawn 1 mon.ago

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals.

I M LIVID

dadjoke

15
5
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funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. After the first 100 days of the new president,

US looks tariffic

2. Wife is in a coma

Doctor come up said I do have a way to fix it. It's a little unconventional. I said doc. I'll try anything. You said okay. You're going to have to go in and have oral sex with her. So I go in the room and I'm in there about 5 minutes, and I come out. The doctor looks at me and says well what happened. I said doc she's choking.

3. The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup

I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet"

4. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, but no atmosphere

5. I hope they don’t make a mistake when choosing the new pope.

That would be a cardinal error.

6. A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks.

"We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.

7. My wife

just finished just finished repairing the holes in a bunch of my wool socks. She asked me to deal with it. I don’t know what she wants me to do with these darned socks.

8. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

Ba-na-na-NA

9. I used to work at a Michelin star restaurant.

It was great until the chef retired and the food got rubbery.

10. What's the only fast food restaurant with a vegetable in its name?

Bur gherkin...

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